Not May-Not Today

I don’t want to go back to school tomorrow. Not because I’ve been hanging out in my jammies every day. Not because I’ll miss sleeping in. Not because my kids will be wound for sound. Not because I don’t like teaching, or am tired of school, or need more time off.
I don’t want to go back to school tomorrow because that means the end is very near. And I don’t want May to be here too quickly this year. In May my son graduates college and will be moving much further away. In May my daughter graduates high school, and will be leaving to attend the college my son will be graduating from.  
After May my daughter will no longer be a school child in my home; waiting for me to wake her in the mornings, and share our supper table in the evenings.
After May my son will not be close enough to run home for an afternoon spent fishing with his dad, or to ask me to cut his hair.
After May my kids will be adults. I will be nothing but a spectator in this life I have so tenderly helped them build. 
I will be proud to watch the next chapters of their stories unfold. But not today. Not too soon. Not until all the days have come before and after May. 


  1. I understand your lament, but you have to live in the now. Enjoy these days you do have with your kids, savor each and every experience. Then before you know it a whole new world will open up with your kids and life will continue to be good. I know this to be true.

  2. I remember the feelings, but Elsie is right, in this next stage you will have a new, wonderful and different kind of relationship, and maybe, two more 'kids'. I love my children's significant others and have found our family has just grown. However, in the here and now, it is a bittersweet time, which goes so fast. You communicated your feelings so beautifully, Tammy.

  3. Three very wise women have commented on your post. Elsie and Linda are right about the next adventures in motherhood. Enjoy the end of these days, savor them, mourn them if you need. But do know that the next events will be spectacular in their own ways and you will enjoy them also.

  4. I completely understand how you feel. In August I had to drop my youngest off at college. It was a very tearful day. This will be the time all your hard work raising wonderful children will pay off. We want our kids have roots and wings. They will have wonderful adventures but they will always know where home is. Hopefully, you will have some new adventures yourself.

    Be brave,

    Queen with Class

  5. I'm not...what a great way to wrap around the emotions you are feeling. Thanks for sharing it with us.

  6. Oh, Tammy! Your words tugged at my have a gift of writing, my friend! I'll be keeping you in my prayers.
    Teaching First

  7. I just discovered your blog. I couldn't agree with all the comments before about your writing. I also love your blog design. It is so cute. Change is hard.

  8. You have moved me to tears. My boys are just little, but I can only imagine the bittersweetness of such a moment.

    I'm sending you a hug today!

  9. I just gave you the Versatile Blogger Award. Come check it out!

    2B Honey Bunch
    The Best Endings