SOLSC 31/31 2012 Hadley's Slice and Loving Friends

As promised today I have a slice of my daughter’s writing from her senior journal. She too chose to write one section about her great grandpa. He was very important to both of my kids (and my husband and I) and I am so grateful they were raised with his influence in their lives. Hadley writes:

     At this time in my life I was beginning to appreciate what was truly important in my life and that for most of my childhood I had abused what I had. I was in the eighth grade, and starting to grasp that nothing was as important in life as family. My entire childhood I had believed that I would always have what I wanted and nothing would change that; I was wrong. On October 12, 2007 I lost my great-grandpa, someone I had loved with all my heart, but did not always show it. After losing him I realized that while always loving him, I was not always kind to him; he showed me what unconditional love was like, and I abused it. I was at times disrespectful and hateful to him, and he did nothing to deserve being treated like that. Today, looking back I can comprehend that something happened to me in the days after I lost him; I began to grow up, I just wish it wouldn’t have taken me losing him to start this change.

Today was my husband’s father’s memorial service. My children did not know this grandpa. He chose to not be a part of their lives, much like he chose not to be a consistent part of my husband’s childhood and life.
The service was very small, but made memorable because of the great friendship between my teaching buddy and her husband.
I tease a lot about my “bestest teacher buddy” but I have to tell you, you will never meet a more loving, giving, faithful, couple than my buddy and her husband. They give beyond belief, and believe in God, love, family and faith beyond certainty. It just “is” for them this life of giving. It is how they lead their lives and why they mean so much to so many.
Two years ago we asked M (buddy’s hubby) to renew our vows for us on our 25th wedding anniversary. There wasn’t a dry eye between us. Because of his giving spirit and his loving words our special day was so much more memorable. It will be a day I cherish for a lifetime.
When trying to decide who could lead the service today M. was our first and only thought. My hubby asked him, but he declined because he did not know my husband’s dad.  
After some thought and having the giving spirit he does, he changed his mind and agreed to lead the service.
Death and funerals are never easy especially when you have unresolved feelings. But because of M. today was made memorable, lighthearted, and something my husband, me, our kids, and our family will appreciate forever.
They are amazing people this teaching buddy and her husband. Our life is richer because of them. But more importantly our children’s lives are richer because they have had the influence of this rare and beautiful friendship, and they have come to know the real meaning of family.   



  1. Difficult relationships complicate lives. I'm glad you have a friendship that enriches your family's life.

  2. A sweet story to end the slices, Tammy. I am happy that you & your husband were able to have your friend there at the funeral for support. It isn't easy doing some things in our lives, but sometimes we do them because that is the thing to do. You are such models for your children & that has shone through in their words, today & yesterday. Tell your daughter that I loved her writing, so thought-filled & it was striking that she said that's when she began to grow up. I imagine there's a part in all of us that knows that moment. Thanks for all Tammy. I will look for you in April!

  3. Your daughter sounds like my favorite kind of 8th grader (that is the grade I teach). Her writing sounds like she is really beginning to figure out who she is and what matters to her. I suspect she is being hard on herself about her actions with her grandpa. That shows me the high standards she sets for herself. I love that line about starting to grasp that nothing is as important as family. Her maturity shines!

    I am so glad that in the face of an unresolved relationship with your husband's father, your family was able to feel a sense of closeness and closure with the help of your close friends. What a special memory this will be for you all.

  4. When we can find the richness in any relationship, be it easy or complicated, then we have done our part at respecting our fellow human.

    Wonderfully put, Tammy.