My life SOL14 #23

                                               March Slice of Life Story Challenge
hosted at the Two Writing Teachers
                                                 Join us for a month of writing!
The first time I cried before, during, and after. Before, I tried to hide it. I went to the bathroom, kept busy, and turned away. During, I let them silently flow while trying to smile and encourage her and me. And after, I bawled huge heaping sobs that even my husband could not console. I cried that day, and the next. How would I ever make it without her here?
The next time I did a little better. They were both here then, son and daughter. I cried as I hugged them, and again for hours after.
The next few times I did better. Tears still came, I still struggled to smile through them.
A few times I have managed without them falling while she is near.
And now it’s time again. She has tried to wean me away as if she is the mother teaching her young to survive on their own, less time at home, mentioning not coming back this summer over and over again. I put her off saying “we’ll see what happens,” or just “Ok.”  But I know she has her plans, and really I wouldn’t want it any other way.
She’s leaving early today. Only a few bags to haul with her this time; not years of my life bundled into her boxes and bags like before.
I can feel them, they are there ready to spill forth, but I try to swallow them away like a bad dose of medicine.
I know she’ll be back. It’s only an hour away, and yet I just can’t help feeling the loss. My little girl is gone, and in her place a beautiful, smart, funny, loving young woman out to make it on her own.
  

6 comments:

  1. Sorry for your sadness, Tammy. But you're a good mom, and as you said, you wouldn't want it any other way. Still, hard to say goodbye to that kind of being a mom. If it helps, it's been a joy being friends with my adult children. There are good times coming, too!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Aww, goodbyes are always so difficult. I can't even imagine one day when I will have to do this with both of my girls. I will be like you, wanting to hold on, but knowing I have to let go. It's okay to cry and as you have noted, the goodbyes are getting a little easier with less tears.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Tammy, I am facing sending my firstborn to college this year. I told my husband and my daughter that I will cry, and I can cry. I can't believe kids grow up and leave us! (Even on days that I want to show them the door).

    ReplyDelete
  4. She is lucky to be so well-loved! You are lucky to be able to watch your baby girl turn into a woman you respect and can continue to love. Your writing was precious as you shared your vulnerable moments with just a bit of safeguarding. :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Yikes! You are right so sorry "wean"

    ReplyDelete

LinkWithin