The Teacher Cries SOL #2



I just couldn’t stop them. The trickle that started in the corner of my eye quickly became a gush as I continued. I knew it would be this way and I had warned them from the beginning this is what would happen. But they asked me to do it anyway.
It shouldn’t be this way. I should be able to control them and keep a steady strong pace.
There was a hint of what was coming in the beginning, and I told them there would be more. They said it was ok. Told me to go on. Begged me to endure.  And so I did.
Day after day. A moment here, time squeezed in at the end of the day or at quiet times. Every day for the last few weeks.
Today we were so close so we struggled through. I struggled through. They listened and watched as I swallowed and choked back the tears. I asked if they wanted me to stop, but again they begged for the finale.  They could see that it was hard for me, but knew that I too wanted it over.
“It happens every time,” I tell them. I just can’t help it, and it may happen to some of them as well. It touches me, and makes me think and feel. They will see. I explained it happened when the first time so many years before when my son and daughter were young.
I can feel them watching me, but unable to look up knowing it will only make it worse. Finally I ask for a break. I look out at them and as I suspected I see worry and care, questions, a few tears, and maybe a little fear.
It’s scary I know, to see your teacher cry. It’s just a book after all.  A book that made us think and feel, question and learn. It’s a book about a girl older than these kids, but full of fear after the loss of her parents, the heartache of a new home, no friends and the need to protect an Uncle that is thirty-five years old but has the mind of a child.
It’s called The Man Who Loved Clowns by June Rae Wood.

This teacher cries every time she reads it, and today so did some of my kids. 

3 comments:

  1. How sweet! I love it when students can see literature affect us teachers. My students area always surprised when they hear how much I read at home. I think it is so easy for them to just see us as "teachers" instead of someone human like them. I'm sure they will remember the story you read to them for a long time.

    -Amanda at http://teachingwanderlust.com/

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  2. I have never heard of this book...can't wait to have my own good cry! I love how you share your feelings with your students not just from your tears but how you feel about the tears!

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  3. I am not familiar with his book. Showing emotions while reading a book can only show students the power of words. For me it was showing my students the movie Love Leads the Way about the first Seeing Eye dog in America. Gets to me every time.

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